Time Doesn't Need You to Manage It

by Devon Gilchrist

This futile effort has gone on long enough. All this time, we've had our eye on the wrong thing, trying to wrangle something we can't even begin to understand or nail down. Time is immutable, unchanging and doesn't care what you're doing, or what you need to get done, or how much is piling up on you. Time is too nebulous, to unreal to even get a handle on—if someone asks you what time it is, you have to look, every time ...because you don't know. We have to rely on watches, phones and calendars to tell us what time, or day, it is in any given moment. How are you supposed to "manage" that?

Looking at time as the thing that powers our productivity is like taking a road trip and thinking the highway is the thing that propels us to our destination:

The road doesn't get us there, it's just the substrate we move on. We get there by operating our vehicle that we've taken good care of and by keeping our focus on where we're going and what we're doing. The road has nothing to do with it, other than hopefully making our ride less bumpy. The road and time are the same: you can't move them, make them go faster or slower, or bend them to your needs. They're fixed systems you travel along in your day-to-day experience. So, if we can't manage time, what should we be managing?

State and perception

I invite you to stop trying to manage time and shift into State Management. Let's explore what this means by doing a little thought experiment together:

Think of the last time you felt really stressed, angry, tired, or hungry.... really get into the memory and feel it in your entire body (maybe one of those feelings isn't so far away?). Close your eyes and sit in that for a few moments; really feel it and be there. Feel tired, frustrated, hungry. Once you're deep in it, come back and read on.

What is your perception of time in this moment?

Most people say, "there's not enough", "overwhelmed", "chaotic" ...a general sense of constriction or collapse.

Let's do another one:

Think of the last time you slept great, you ate well and were hydrated, and had tons of mental and physical energy. Close your eyes again and really be in that space and remember it, feel it in your whole body. Once you're really feeling it, come back and read on.

What is your perception of time in this moment?

People often say, "calm", "simplified", "like I can get a million things done".... so, a general sense of expansion and ease.

We already know that time is a fixed system; it never changes. So when you think about the stark difference between these two different experiences of time, what you can see is that time didn't change, you did.

The only thing you can control is your state, and how you perceive what's being asked of you in any given moment. When you manage your state, you control your experience of time, and your ability to cope, pivot and adapt greatly increases.

State Management

There's a lot that affects your personal state. As mentioned above, getting enough sleep and eating well are two of the big ones, along with stress management, your environment at home, and your relationships. Each person's life, experience and needs are very different, so it takes some committed self-inquiry and observation to uncover and become attuned to what impacts your state each day and to understand what you need to feel great on a regular basis.

Below are some questions to start with. I suggest tackling maybe one of these a week, or even month. Be kind to yourself—most of us have a lot to clean up in our lives. Just work on one thing at a time, day-by-day, and over time you'll realize how much better you're feeling about life, and the time available to you to live it.

• Stress: what am I carrying that doesn't really belong to me? What am I not asking for help with? What am I trying to do all by myself even though it would be completely ridiculous to expect anyone else to it do alone? Do you have a whole list of these things?

• Sleep: do I know how much sleep I actually need to feel good? What am I doing at night that is sabotaging my days? Which is more important to me: whatever I'm habitually doing every evening, or being able to conquer my world during the day?

• Food: what am I eating all the time that makes me feel like crap? We usually know what those things are, but we're in a subtle state of quiet addiction so it's hard to stop. And change is hard, but you're stronger and more important than whatever your food crutch is (mine was coffee with lots of creamer and sugar—3 to 4 cups a day. I finally stopped cold turkey a few months ago and I feel 100% better now. This was a big state disruptor for me).

• Relationships: this is one that's outside the scope of this topic, but I will offer these questions to help you ease into exploring this: which people in my life energize me, and which people drain me? What's out of balance? Pay attention to the immediate answers that pop into your head. In all honesty, you likely already know these things; finding the courage to effect change here is the key.

• Environment: your physical environment has such an sneaky, far-reaching effect on your mental state, I could write four more paragraphs on it. Instead, I'll invite you to watch this video (slight language warning, but if you're okay with that it's full of fantastic insight and advice [not affiliated with Iluma Learning]).

  Your digital environment most certainly has your nervous system, and mental capacities, on overload. How many times do you get notified for the same message (watch, phone, computer...), how long does it take you to unearth something you need on your computer? How overwhelming is your email? There's A LOT you can do to calm all of this down and create some space for your mind and calm for your nervous system. We'll talk about that in detail in upcoming articles.

Once you start to feel some improvement in your overall state of being, you'll find you're generally able to pivot easier, adjust to sudden changes, surprises and interruptions with more grace, and go home at the end of the day a lot more relaxed—and maybe with enough energy to be present with things that are important to you. Time will no longer feel like the enemy, because it's not. It's always there for you, ready to contain whatever you want to fill it with.