Chaos to Calm - Getting in Touch with What I Need

by Amy Parrish

Continuing our series on how to get from chaos to calm, Amy talks about the importance of expanding our vocabulary when it comes to what we need. Find out how better understanding our needs effects how we show up both at work and in our personal lives.

[transcript] Hi, I am Amy with Iluma Learning, and as I am enjoying the last days of really nice fall weather here in Santa Fe, I’m just sitting out back behind my, my office here and I am enjoying a breeze and just trying to be present for a minute. Because it’s hard for me to sit down and make these videos because I want them to be perfect, right? So in an effort to please my social media manager, I am trying to get over that and come to you and talk to you about things that I’m talking about with groups as I’m traveling all over the country. So, some of the conversations that I’ve been having are a lot around how do we, how are we present to our employees? How are we present to people that we are training? How are we present to our families? How do we show up? And so part of that showing up is starting to figure out what is it that I am feeling and needing? And that is what moves me from chaos to calm.

So if I can stand still long enough to go, wow, I feel that and it doesn’t feel good. And then because what I need is maybe more autonomy, more genuine care. I’ve got a whole list here. Let me read. I need some balance. I need some play. Yeah, I need some freedom. I need some honesty. I need harmony. I need consideration. I need clarity. I need respect. I need to be valued. I need challenge. Maybe I need passion. I need some adventure. All these things are valid needs that we have and I think that so often we end up talking about, I need a break, I need you to listen, I need you to shut up right now. That’s kind of how we express our needs. But what I really need is some consideration. I need to be valued. I need to be heard. And so when I start getting in touch with what I feel, it’s going to lead me to what I really need. And when I have more vocabulary around what I need, I am better able to ask for it. And I think that so often we are afraid to ask for what we need, especially at home because we’re afraid we won’t get it. But us knowing what we need helps us get a chance of actually getting it. Either we provide it for ourselves or we invite other people to do it.

So this whole feelings needs thing is serious business. And it is Not for weak people. This is for tough people in a tough industry to start really paying attention to their own health, to their families, and to their employees. So we’ll keep talking about it in the next video.